.

the whirling of the fan as it rotates round and round and round. the flapping of the curtain in the cool wind breeze. the glimmer of light from the blocks opposite shone in, every 4 seconds the curtain was lifted by the wind..

who do you turn to when your heart aches and your mind is in an everlasting war with your senses? when your heart wants and yearn for the love and pain of yesteryear, when your mind couldn't go through feeling pathetic and weak yet again, after another emotional turmoil. who do you turn to for advise and comfort when half the time you  can't, or rather, don't feel like explaining yourself? when you just want to be understood for the situation you're in, when people look at you as how you already are? how you crave for another human touch to ease you in comfort and tell you that everything is okay yet, you are so ready to tell them to back the fuck off once you realize that they do not understand what you're going through.

they never do, do they?

who do you turn to, to calm your mind, body and soul, when chaos reigns within your body? when every major organ is sending hate, resentment, anger and drama into every veins and capillaries that exist within. how do you just let go of the emotions and let your system flow normally and peaceful once more?

i always felt that it isn't how long you've shared you entire life with a single person that creates the pain. instead, it becomes more of how deep you've grown into each other. every open link and void that you once had is now filled and entwined with another soul as you share you joy and misery together, as you plan a future together. but it cuts and bruise my emotional well being when the universe can just snap a couple apart, leaving one in the abyss and the other brutally tortured. and people have to carry that pain around till father time decides that it's time to bury and forget the past.

now it becomes a cycle as the tainted soul of this couple shares a new life with another soul. they've had a taste of the best and the worst moments and what scares me is their ability to manipulate others. this particular couple can bring you to heaven but at the same time, they do know how to introduce hell little by little into your life. to err is human nature but at the same time, we have to adapt. funny how all these tainted soul will be group under a "well-balanced life". Light cannot survive without Darkness, Yin cannot survive without the Yang. to be happy one must experience sadness, to be rich one must experience poverty. to appreciate what love is, one must be indifferent (or some might call it being apathetic).

my only question is, is this fair that we have to go through this over and over again? with every partner we find ourselves with, do we have to go through the path of light and dark once more only to be greeted by disappointment?