About two days back?? i was rambling out to a really good friend of mine on how sometimes i blame my dad for slacking on his job. thus, no moolah to study. (like i said, s o m e t i m e s . .) but then again, it kinda' took me on a guilt trip and made me realize why my dad might have been treating me harshly these few days with all the "think more of what you do" nonsense.

he's coming to 60. he's kinda at the retirement age and i do understand if he just wanna chill his life away now onward. i can't blame the fact that he peaked at a young age, i mean i am overjoyed for him. so, that's probably one of the reason he might find a reason to retire at an early age too. and then, my fears facing the world alone in the future flowed into my head.. first and foremost, i need to save some money. a hell load of it. for reasons like, if i do intend to pursue my studies. unless, however unfortunate, my sisters studies included. secondly, to support my parents. and lastly, my dream bike and whatever bills, taxes and expenses.

maybe this is a good way to prepare one's child for the not-so-distant-future but i fucking SWEARR, i am ffffrreeeeaakingg out. bigtime.

i need a plan.. .