Just ate mumsy's steam fish & nibbled off abit of the egg she cooked ^^ Heavenly. I am so blessed for having a mother that can cook everything, anything & really well. I would've really bought her a restaurant, if i had the money, & dare to bet on it that she will thrive.
Anyway, i'm just gonna get on with my shit..

Awoke to my alarm blaring off right next to my ear at 7 this morn. I dreaded the thought of just getting up to prepare for work. i hated it. It was ridiculous for a 19 year old to be doing some full-time shit ass office job when she should be studying. Well, that's what i thought.. So anyway, i lugged myself out of bed & went to shower up. Clean & refreshed, i opened my door to go get myself some breakfast & found my mother already awake and on the phone looking worried. She was in the process of taking an emergency leave from work. Dad was sick. I hate it when he's sick. He'll moan in agony every few minutes as if someone is piercing his heart with a poison dagger. It's torturous to hear a loved one suffer & yes, he'll also become easily irritable. Mom says he suffered the whole night & his condition doesn't seem to be improving. She wants to bring him to a hospital..

My nerves tensed up & i could hear my heartbeat speeding up in my ear as i slowly put the words together & let it repeat. "Condition.. not improving.. Hospital.." Why the fuck does he needs a hospital? Why can't just bring him to a polyclinic or a private doc? What kind of sickness does he have? All these rhetorical questions can't seem to stop popping up in my head. I rummage thru' my mind for an answer & finally came to a conclusion where i cringed to the thought of it. Call me paranoid or whatsoever but, he's not getting any younger. I realized Dad was old. More prone to getting whatever sickness. Touch wood, but it's the fact. He's nearing 60 & i can see him aging; wrinkles forming & skin sagging etc. etc.

My heart felt heavier than ever. One day i would lose him. I just didn't know when. It could be today or tomorrow or seven years down the road. As i halfheartedly made my way to work, i thought of how i would live my life w/o him in the picture. I admit i couldn't do it. Tho' we had our huge differences, he was everything to me. 9 hours in the office & there wasn't a minute i could stop thinking about it, i couldn't stop worrying.

Now i'm home, and i'm still so worked up. He seems better. Mom says he refused to go to a hospital so they went to a polyclinic instead. Glad he's still strong and willing to fight the sickness straight up. I guess it's during times like this when you start to appreciate your family more & feel a need to always be there for them.

Time check: 11:43pm. The house is dead silent. I can hear the muffled roar of old engines zooming by and the screeching halts of buses braking so suddenly on the street. Gosh, that's giving me a slight headache. Gonna wrap this up & it's time to hit the sack. Fucking work tomorrow. Urgh.