Inception-like;

It's a really sunny Sunday.  I got myself out of the house after all that has happened. Listening to the busy shuffling of light footsteps & the dragging of heavier ones. Bright & loud colours are worn everywhere. Probably to signify the lil' celebration of a weekend.. Slightly going in & out of eavesdropping on a group of girls conversation..

And there I was, stoning. Feeling moodless, lost perhaps? Wondering am I fully back in reality or still recuperating from the shit. Everything just feels so.. I just feel invisible. Idk..
I was so lost deep in thoughts when the warmth of the sun brought me out of it & back into reality. It was actually hot. Really hot. Fidget around for a lil' while, then we left.

Now I'm home. Hiding in my room. Should I be home? I'm never home. I like to be out spending time with my friends. But I can't make up my fucking mind! Yes, I am so annoyed by it. Sara texted me to meet him at Raffles to most probably talk about the job. Told him I'm not feeling well. Well, partly true, I'm not in the right state of mind to discuss business.. or anything at all for that matter. But if friends were to call me out, will I go? I know I would want to go but.. I might give it a miss. I want to be out there having fun with them yet, I wanna be left alone at the same time..

Now my eyes are getting tired at staring at my iPhone screen typing all these out. The rustling & slight clanking noise coming from my fan is hypnotizing me back into a drowsy state. I need aircon. I wanna curl up like a ball & snuggle under a comforter. At this moment, I wish I had someone by my side. Its 2:43pm. I feel so fucked. My mind is running thru' everything that has happened. Feeling so insecure now. Physically, mentally & emotionally.


Whoa gosh. I completely zoned out. The knock on my door just jolted me back into reality again. It was sissy. Passed her the iPod. Exchanged afew words. She's gonna watch I am number4. This is probably the best time for me to catch a movie alone.. Harry Potter?
Whatever, switch the lights off & back to bed it is. My insecurities are acting up again. Shaking my leg to an imaginary song coming up in my head. Feeling my muscles "spasming" away.. I'm afraid to listen to my music now. All I ever do is plug in my earphones & listen to the loud silence ringing in my ear.

Honestly, I have never tried blogging about things on the instant. Like now, detailing every lil' thing happening this very minute & jotting it down within the same minute. Its a funny feeling. Weird? Hmm..

My eyes are getting heavier by the seconds. Shall jump into the shower again and most probably sleep the afternoon away.