& just the other day, i was hoping it would all be over; that it would vanish, as abruptly as it came. but i soon realized that the problem was with me. in me. it was me. i denied it the for first time. then the second. and then the third. finally, i couldn't take it. so did my heart; her walls weakened and crumbled to pieces & my mind practically blew itself apart..  i threw my soul off the mountain peak & imperceptibly let the wind carry it forth with the unwanted and dead leaves. honestly, i was really hoping that my hurt and pain went along with it. now i'm not lookin' back, i refuse to. as much as my previous life was the best, it was also the worst. i can't say what i'm about to do now will be more desirable and sophisticated, or logically unsound and misleading. but i know i'm going nowhere..

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