everyday becomes another waste. my mood is glum, my life is dull. her colour has faded away. i don't even know what the hell to do anymore. it's such a drag. i don't want to be like this anymore, i don't want to feel like this anymore. it's just so fucking tiring. i really hate it. i need to make a move. but my feet is glued firmly to the ground. i'm stuck. god, it's like i'm in a game of chess & i'm losing either way. certain moves are controlled and my emotions are going haywire. i'm trying to hold on but, to what? i honestly don't know. my vision's blurred, my worst nightmare has arrived. can i just close my eyes and wished for everything to disappear? please let me wake from this terrible nightmarish reality..
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